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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355401">Reimagining</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellestar/pseuds/bellestar'>bellestar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author wanted more Rey and Ben loving, Author wanted more than just hands to touch in the hut, Author wanted there to be touching in the elevator, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, But not too much of a divergence, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Just slightly inappropriate, Kissing, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey and Ben clearly want each other, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:48:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellestar/pseuds/bellestar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He really is the last person that she should be talking to; Kylo Ren is the sworn enemy of the people who have given her a purpose. He’s fought with her with his words and his saber and she knows what his fury is capable of. </p><p>But before her is not Kylo Ren. There is an entirely different person beneath the mask and Rey wants to know him like she’s getting to know herself.</p><p>---</p><p>Or the author reimagines key scenes from The Last Jedi, because more than hands should have touched. Tags and title have been updated.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey &amp; Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Stone Hut</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, hello, again. Rey and Ben Solo have managed to suck me in completely and I've written once more. The Last Jedi is truly a special movie in the sequel trilogy. The scene in the hut is wonderful, but what if there was more to it?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The pounding rain and flashes of lightning outside the stone hut could not be more perfect for how she is feeling.  Clutching the blanket that she has wrapped around herself, Rey gently rocks back and forth on the small seat as she seeks warmth and comfort from the fire in front of her.  Its heat is not enough to melt away the coldness that has seeped deep into her bones.   There could be a thousand fires surrounding her and it would not be enough to take away the biting truth that the mirror cave has shown her.</p><p>How foolish she is. How incredibly naive of her to think that her time here spent on Ahch-To could unlock the answers she desperately seeks. The tears fall silently down her checks in steady streams.  As thunderclaps around the hut once more, Rey drops her head into her hands, her heart tightening as another sob threatens to erupt.</p><p>Her cries fall silent on her lips the moment that she feels the air grow still and the storm outside suddenly disappears.  The hum in the back of her mind grows louder as she lifts her head to lay eyes on the last person that she thought she wanted to see.  His unexpected appearance is more comforting than she wants to admit.</p><p>“Rey?”</p><p>His voice is much softer than their last meeting, and she notes that this time Ben’s usual look of disdain has been replaced with a look of concern.</p><p>“I...I didn’t….I don’t know how this works,” she stammers, flustered. </p><p>“Neither do I, but I could feel you through…” he motions between them, referencing the bond.  Neither of them knows or understands why the Force is connecting them like this. It’s another one of those unanswered questions.</p><p>She gasps in surprise, keeping her eyes on him. “You…you felt me?”</p><p>“I could feel that you were upset before I saw you,” he answers. “I could hear you crying in the back of my mind. I…reached out through the Force and it’s brought me here.”</p><p>“Is this the first time you could…feel me like that? Without you trying to?”</p><p>Ben nods his head slowly. “Whatever this is, I think it’s growing stronger with every time we see each other.  I also think this is the first time you’ve not tried to kill me,” he adds, and Rey sees a hint of a smirk on his face. </p><p>“Well, don’t give me any ideas,” she clears her throat.</p><p>“You haven’t told me what’s wrong.”</p><p>Rey turns her head away from him, her eyes focusing on the fire in front of them. Ben is the last person she expected to be seated beside her in her moment of grief.  After what has happened and as the war rages on in the galaxy between them, he is the last person that she should be sharing herself with.</p><p>But right now, she can imagine no one else she would rather be than with him.</p><p>Rey goes on to explain what she experienced in the mirror cave and he listens intently. She notes that he doesn’t try to enter her mind but maybe he doesn’t need to. With every detail, Rey can feel herself breaking and sinking further down into despair.  She had hoped to find answers here.  For so long, Rey has questioned who she is and what her purpose is in this world. Why did her parents leave her crying and screaming for them when she was a little girl? If she could only know that answer, maybe she would better understand how she’s found herself in the middle of this war between the Resistance and the First Order and what role she plays.</p><p>“I’d never felt so alone,” she finishes and she can’t bear to look at Ben. He really is the last person that she should be talking to; Kylo Ren is the sworn enemy of the people who have given her a purpose. He’s fought with her with his words and his saber and she knows what his fury is capable of.</p><p>But before her is not Kylo Ren. There is an entirely different person beneath the mask and Rey wants to know him like she’s getting to know herself.</p><p>“You’re not alone,” he says finally and it’s enough for their eyes to lock once more.  Of course he is the person who would understand her plight better than anyone. Ben Solo has been fighting a similar battle for years.   They both have struggled to find their places in their stories, and they continue to appear in one another’s pages. </p><p>“Neither are you,” she says softly.  She takes this moment to reach through the Force and she experiences what Ben spoke of earlier; waves of sadness are coursing through him and she recognizes that these feelings are not just hers but also his.  Beneath the sadness, there is conflict that flows with regret and shame of the choices that he has made.</p><p>“It isn’t too late,” she answers the unspoken question between them.  Rey slowly begins to extend her hand toward him.  If she can’t find the answer as to what happened to her parents, she is going to find out why Ben Solo is hard to get rid of.</p><p>She watches as he slips the leather glove off his hand and begins to meet hers. Their fingers linger and there is more than just the heat of the fire between them.  Gingerly, their fingertips touch and neither of them expect the jolt that sparks. Rey’s breath catches as she looks deeply into Ben’s eyes.</p><p>Rey sees Ben clearly for the first time.  She can’t make out the exact details, but she sees that he no longer wears the heavy, black robes that chain him to the darkness.  She sees the two of them standing together side by side but can’t make out what exactly is happening. Fresh tears slide down her cheeks at the vision, at the sight of the man before her. </p><p>“Ben,” she whispers. She can’t figure out if it’s the humming of their Force bond or if it’s the sound of her thumping heart in her ears. His eyes never leave hers and she tries to push through to see if he sees a similar vision. </p><p>Rey never gets to see what Ben has been shown. Instead, he pulls her hand and closes the distance between them.</p><p>They’re both on the ground on their knees, their hands tangled as Ben slowly kisses her.  Rey has never felt anything better than his lips on hers. The touch of their fingertips just moments earlier pales in comparison. She’s never been touched like this before and now that she’s had a taste, Rey knows she won’t be able to live without it.</p><p>Moving her hands up to his face, she returns his kiss and feels his arms wrap about her back to draw her closer.  She doesn’t know how the Force is allowing them to explore one another this way but she considers it a gift after what she has been through.  There is hope to Ben Solo after all, and it gives her the reason to keep going down this path. To keep turning the pages.  She’s had a peek at the ending to this story and if it ends with Ben Solo turning back to the light, all of her pain and confusion would be worth it.</p><p>Ben’s fingers have found their way into her hair as his mouth opens to hers and Rey can’t help but moan as their kiss deepens. She can’t see into his mind, but she feels him humming with desire through their bond.  Desire.  He desires her.  Had he also been shown the same vision of the two of them standing together in the light? The idea is overwhelming. This kiss is intoxicating and it's making it difficult to think about anything but him. The coldness in her bones has been replaced with a heat that has ignited deep within her.  </p><p>“Rey,” he says breathlessly when he pulls back from her. “Did you see something? When our hands touched?”</p><p>“Yes.”  She is just as breathless as he is.</p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>Rey runs her fingers down the side of his face, over the scar she left during their fight in the forest.  “I saw your future.”</p><p>“Did you see us?”</p><p>“Yes, I did.  You stand next to me,” she answers softly.</p><p>“I saw us, too, with you standing next to me,” he admits.  Rey’s heart leaps at his words and before he can go on, she presses her lips against his.</p><p>The exact details of their visions have been left out, but it doesn’t seem to matter in the moment as Ben gently lays Rey against the floor of the hut to hover above her as they continue to explore the boundaries of this connection. Her hands have found themselves in his thick, dark hair as his lips trail hot kisses down her neck.  Rey squeezes her eyes shut at the sensations, trying to memorize every moment. Ben’s hands have moved down her arms to hips. She feels like she is on fire and Ben is the one holding the match.</p><p>“Rey…you will stand with me,” Ben murmurs between kisses down her neck and across her collarbone.  She moans in response to both his words and his mouth on her skin. Just as his hands begin to explore the edges of her tunic, Rey feels a sudden shift in the Force around them. As quickly as their exploration began, it comes to an end.   Ben disappears and Rey is unable to hold on to him.</p><p>Rey continues to lie in the floor as she puts her hands over her face as the sounds of the storm outside fill the hut once again. Her lips feel swollen from their kisses and she closes her eyes to remember the feel of his body against hers, how his fingers trailed down her skin.  The moment was much too short, and she already craves another chance to get to know Ben Solo. The page has been turned and she has to have more.</p><p>She may not have been shown what she wanted in the mirror cave, but Rey has never been more certain of what the next chapter of her story will be or who will be in it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Elevator</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I greatly appreciate the feedback and love on this piece! Since it's taken a different turn, I've updated it with a new title and tags.</p><p>---<br/>Rey goes to Ben and this means the elevator scene has been reimagined to include some touching because that should have happened.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke Skywalker is <em>pissed</em>.</p><p>Rey isn’t sure if he’s more upset about the mission that she has declared is hers and hers alone or that she isn’t seeking permission to do so.  It doesn’t matter to her anyway.</p><p>“What do you think you are doing?!” he bellows as Rey strolls past him to make her way to the <em>Falcon</em>. “Rey, you cannot go to him!”  The rain threatens to drown them, but it does not extinguish their fires of anger and passion, especially Rey’s.</p><p>“I already have!” Rey turns and faces her master, her face stern.  “He told me about that night, the night that you tried to <em>murder </em>him!”  It stings Luke like a slap to the face.  Rey almost wishes she could actually do that, but she has other pressing matters to tend to.</p><p>“He and I have been able to connect to one another through the Force and I have been able to see and feel the conflict within him,” she continues.  “Just now, I have been able to see his future but I have to go to him.”</p><p>The disappointment and fear are easy to read on Luke’s face, and she thinks it’s the first time since arriving on this island that she’s been able to read him so clearly.</p><p>“Rey, it’s not going to be as easy as you think it is. Ben Solo has experienced the darkness since he was a child and it’s not going to give him up without a fight.”</p><p>“I know I can do it!”  She doesn’t want to elaborate further, and this argument is wasting precious time. “If I go to him, Ben Solo will turn.  It will be enough to shift the tide and put this war to end once and for all.”  Rey’s feelings about this, about Ben Solo, are as strong and clear as the vision that she shared with him moments earlier in the stone hut. </p><p>Maz said to her that the belonging she seeks is not behind her, but that it was ahead. Rey understands now who Maz was referring to.</p><p>She thinks she hears Luke call to her once more, something about this isn’t going to go the way she wants. His voice fades away as the <em>Falcon</em> takes flight.</p><p>-----------</p><p>When Rey’s pod lands and Ben’s face comes into view, she expects to see something to tell her that she’s made the right decision.  When the stormtroopers put her arms into the binder cuffs and Ben makes no effort to stop them, she chides herself for thinking otherwise. Confusion and hurt wash over her and when she tries to reach him through their bond, she’s disheartened to find that his walls are up.  He’s blocked her out.</p><p>
  <em>Kriff.</em>
</p><p>The walk to the turbolift is quiet but Rey’s mind screams with a thousand questions.  Where was he taking her? Why was he doing this? How could she have misunderstood what they had shared in the hut?  When his lips met hers and he told her that he also saw her standing next to him…was this what he meant?</p><p>They enter the turbolift and Ben presses some buttons on the panel beside them. Rey reaches through the bond once again, delighted to find that he has lowered his defenses, but she regrets it the moment she realizes.</p><p>He’s taking her to Snoke.</p><p>“You don’t have to do this,” she says as the turbolift begins to take them to Snoke’s throne room.   To her surprise, Ben presses another button on the panel behind her that stops the turbolift.  Time feels it’s literally come to a stop for them and Rey knows that this is her chance.</p><p>“Ben, this is not the future that I saw when we…” she trails off as she turns toward him.  Her eyes first land on his lips before she looks up into his eyes. “When we touched hands.  I saw just the shape of it, but it was solid and clear.”  She takes a step closer to him.</p><p>“You will not bow before Snoke,” she speaks with conviction and hopes it’s enough to hide her fear that maybe Luke was right. That she won’t be enough to turn him to the light.</p><p>“You said that you also saw us standing together,” Ben says finally. His voice is low like they are sharing a secret. “Did you mean it?”</p><p>“Yes, of course I did,” her voice is just above a whisper. “Ben, I can feel the conflict in you and it’s tearing you apart.”  She reaches for his hand by his side, her fingers just grazing his.  “I’ll help you. I swear it.”</p><p>He pulls his hand away from hers and Rey’s breath escapes her when his fingers touch her cheek.  The air between them is thick and the electricity that Rey felt when their hands met back in the hut hums at a fever pitch.</p><p>“You also said that you saw us standing together. Did you mean it?”  She repeats his words back to him. Ben’s eyes have darkened, and both of his hands have gently cupped her face.</p><p>“There is nothing that I want more,” he drops his forehead to hers, his warm breath trickles over her face and Rey closes her eyes.  The galaxy is burning down around them but all she can feel, all that she wants, is to continue this dance with him.  His tenderness is as overwhelming as when he first kissed her, but something isn’t quite right.</p><p>“Rey, I saw when the moment comes that you will be the one to turn and that is when you will stand with me.”  Ben’s delivery is gentle, but his words hit her like a punch, her heart dropping in her stomach.  It’s almost enough to bring her to her knees. She knows that she should pull away from him but he’s making it very difficult with his fingers strumming her face and his breath falling on her lips.</p><p>“Ben, please,” she whispers now, pulling back just enough to see his face.  She feels the churning of his emotions through their bond.  The same pain, loneliness and confusion that she has been feeling through him now flood through her.  Another emotion floats to the surface and before she can react, Ben takes her once again and kisses her.</p><p>This kiss is different from the first one they shared.  It’s soft and warm but beneath it there is something else. Rey lifts her arms to his and tries to stifle a moan as Ben deepens the kiss and her back is pushed against the wall. The kiss becomes needy, hungry, <em>pleading</em>.</p><p>They’re both pleading with each other to come <em>home</em>.</p><p>When he pulls back from her lips, Rey nearly melts to the floor when his mouth hovers just over her ear.</p><p>“Because of what I saw, I know that you will stand with me.  Don’t you see? I can’t give up now and come to the light.”</p><p>He presses gentle kisses around her ear, causing Rey to gasp loudly as he continues his exploration of her neck with his lips.  Goosebumps form across her skin and it feels like Ben has added fuel to the fire inside her. She desperately wants to stand with him, but she knows this isn’t the way they were meant to be together.</p><p>“Ben…I can’t do this,” she murmurs.</p><p>He pulls back and studies her face.  She feels him enter her mind and she knows what he will find there.  As much as she desires this, desires <em>him</em>, she has not traveled this far to kneel before Snoke beside him.  All that she has been fighting for will be in vain if she turns to the dark side.</p><p>A hint of a smile appears on his face and before she can understand why, Ben puts up the walls in his mind and pulls away from her completely.    He reaches across from her to press the buttons to restart the turbolift. It shifts and begins its journey once again to a possibility that Rey never considered would happen.</p><p>“I know what I have to do,” he tells her. </p><p>She stands completely dumbfounded by him.  Rey thought her coming here would mean that he would be willing to give up the First Order and start his life anew by coming to the light.  She believed it would mean that they would be together. She pushes back against the doubt that begins to cloud her mind when she takes another look at Ben.</p><p>“I know what I saw, what I see when I am with you, Rey.  Don’t be afraid.  I feel it, too.”  </p><p>His words echo from the first time they spoke, when he threatened to take whatever he wanted from her. The words take on a new meaning as the doors open to reveal Snoke’s throne room.</p><p>Rey thought she knew how this story ended when she started this new chapter and she can’t help but wonder how she missed these terrifying pages.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Throne Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you again for taking the time to read as this story takes on a mind of its own!</p><p>—-</p><p>This takes place in the throne room immediately following the battle with Snoke and the guards.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moments in Snoke’s throne room rush past Rey at a speed that she cannot register but they are also so painstakingly slow that she feels them like a tick of an imaginary clock.   When Ben led her to Snoke, she walked in unafraid and determined, once more, to help Ben turn the pages to the ending she saw for them.</p><p>But she also knows she isn’t the only author, and she knows it’s up to Ben as to which path that will define the rest of their lives.</p><p>Rey thinks the choice is made with the pull of his fingers as Snoke collapsed in two on the floor. Relief had washed over her at that moment and when she rose from the floor to prepare for battle, his eyes caught hers. She was unable to see into his mind, but his actions spoke louder than anything she had seen or felt through their bond.</p><p>The room around them now burns in ruins, the only sounds are them catching their breaths from the battle against Snoke and against themselves. The last guard has fallen, and only Rey and Ben remain.</p><p>This is what Rey saw in her vision in the stone hut. Ben has shed the darkness to reclaim his place in the light.  His place beside Rey.</p><p>She runs toward him and throws her arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around her and lifts her off the ground to pull her in the tightest embrace that Rey has ever felt.  He clutches her like a life preserver, like he is afraid that if he lets go that he will lose her.  Rey pulls back slightly and takes this opportunity to claim his lips with hers.</p><p>This kiss might her favorite yet, she thinks. Her legs have wrapped around his waist and he shifts to hold her tightly around him.  Her hands tug through his hair as their tongues demand a taste of one another.  He’s a smoldering campfire with the promise of reigniting with a single spark.  His fingers grip through her tunic, begging to touch her skin.  Rey hears him moan her name into her mouth and she thinks it’s one of the most perfect prayers she has ever heard.</p><p>Soon she is floating back down to the ground and she realizes there is still work to be done.  Turning in the direction of the viewport, she directs his attention with a pointed finger.</p><p>“Ben! The fleet!  You can order them to stop firing and there’s a chance to save the fleet!”</p><p>When she turns back to face him, her heart sinks when she sees that he instead is looking at Snoke’s abandoned throne.</p><p>“Ben?” she questions softly.</p><p>“It’s time to let it all die, Rey,” he sighs.  “Snoke. Skywalker. The Sith. The Jedi.  The rebels. Let it all die.”</p><p>His words hit her like a pin to a balloon.</p><p>
  <em>No. No. No. No.</em>
</p><p>“Rey, why do we continue to fight like this? The ways of the Sith, the Jedi…they are archaic. We could bring a new order of the galaxy and we could do that together. Standing side by side.”  He stretches out his hand to her. “Rey, I want you to join me.”</p><p>His every word crushes her every hope, her every dream for how their story would end. The vision she holds of them standing side by side shatters into a million pieces.</p><p>“Don’t do this,” she answers as tears well in her eyes.  “Ben, please. <em>Please </em>don’t go this way.”  Her voice breaks and the tears flow down her cheeks. Rey has had her heart broken before, when her parents abandoned her all those years ago, but it doesn’t compare to the misery she feels as she searches Ben’s face for any sign that her pleas are being understood.</p><p>Ben shakes his head vehemently. “No, no you’re still holding on! Let go! I am doing this…what I just did to Snoke was for you! It was for us!”  He’s shouting now, tethering on the edge of morphing back into Kylo Ren in his tone. “The only way that we stand together is not by standing together in the dark or in the light. We leave all of that behind.”</p><p>Rey chokes back a sob, her hands clenching into fists at her sides. She once again finds herself asking how she could have been so naïve.  She believed that the answers were theirs to discover together. Luke’s words have come back to haunt her. <em>This is not going to go the way you think.</em></p><p>“Ben,” she whispers brokenly. “This is not the way this story is supposed to go.”</p><p>“What place do you think you have in this story, Rey?” He drops his hand to take a step toward her. “Your story is that of a little girl who was left behind by her parents and you keep searching for them.  You’ve tried to find them in Skywalker, in the Resistance. But it means nothing. You don’t have a place in this story. Not with them. You come from nothing.  You’re nothing.”</p><p>The tears continue to glide down her face and Rey is ready to crumble.  Ben is taking the pages and is shredding them with his words. Time has slowed down and Rey begins to realize that this moment is what will define the rest of their lives.</p><p>“But not to me. You have a place in this story.  With me.”  Ben reaches out to her once again. “We can write a new story together. Join me.”</p><p>Her eyes drift to his gloved hand and back to his face.  She notices that tears have begun to appear in his eyes and his bottom lip quivers with his final plea.</p><p>
  <em>“Please.”</em>
</p><p>Rey takes a deep breath and considers her options.  She desperately wishes to be with Ben.  She feels him deeply in her soul, like he is meant to be her other half.  Their touches, their kisses have shown her a man who she feels could complete the part of her that is missing. But his offer goes against every fiber of her being.  It’s so different from the visions that she has been shown and it does not feel right.</p><p>Ben has torn out the pages, but she can rewrite them.</p><p>---</p><p>When she wakes on the floor, the lightsaber is broken in two. Rey climbs onto her knees to reach for the pieces and steals a glance at Ben.  She can’t help but crawl toward him to check to see if he is still alive.   He doesn’t stir when she touches his face but the rise and fall of his chest tells her what she needs to know.</p><p>They didn’t just fight for control of the now broken lightsaber in her hands; he fought her for control on how this story ends.  As she rises to her feet and begins to run to her escape, Rey is determined that this is not the end of her story or his, but just another chapter they must go through before getting to the true ending.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading and for all the lovely kudos and comments.  For this epilogue, I've ignored the force bond moment that takes place between Rey and Ben at the end of TLJ and have imagined something differently.  Very mild spoiler alert for TROS in dialogue.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stillness has never come easy for Rey, no matter if she is in the middle of the unforgiving Jakku desert or where she lays now in her small quarters aboard the <em>Falcon</em>. It’s always been difficult for her to rest.  </p><p>She once thought that it was because she had to be on guard at all times because of who she was on Jakku; a scavenger who needed to do whatever it took to survive.   When she traveled to Ahch-To in search of Luke Skywalker and to begin her Jedi training, she hoped she could learn what it meant to be at peace.</p><p>Maybe that isn’t possible.</p><p>The regrouping of the remaining Resistance members had quietened down hours earlier, with Leia encouraging everyone to seek rest. They were safe for now and there would be time to continue their discussions of next steps.  She quipped that maybe it was her old age, but she needed time to process what they experienced on Crait. They all did.</p><p>Rey was thankful that no one questioned Leia’s suggestion and retreated at once. She was especially glad that no one stopped to ask her what had happened to her on Ahch-To with Luke.</p><p>No one knows yet what has happened between her and Kylo Ren.</p><p>Her heart clinches at the thought of his chosen name, but after the Battle of Crait, she knows his recent actions are deeply rooted into the dark side.  Shifting on the small cot to stare at the ceiling, Rey allows herself to go over the details of the past few days. The stone hut. The elevator. The throne room. She should be piecing together where she had gone wrong in her pursuit to bring Ben Solo back to the light.</p><p>Rey closes her eyes to remember.  She should be replaying how he and his army stormed the Resistance base with their unforgiving weaponry.  How his angry scream echoed and sent chills down her as they fought over Luke’s lightsaber in the throne room.</p><p>Instead, all she can think about are his lips.  His hands. His body.</p><p>
  <em>Kriff.</em>
</p><p>It would have been easy to take his hand if it only meant that they would have all the time in the galaxy to explore this bond, to explore one another. But that’s not all that he wanted with her and the price was too great to pay.  She knows she has made the right choice no matter how painful it feels right now.</p><p>Rey tosses again on the cot and pulls the blanket tighter around her. Stillness has never come easy for her and she supposes that is the way it will always be.</p><p>Then she feels the familiar hum.  Rey thought that the bond was severed when the lightsaber pierced Snoke in two back in the throne room.</p><p>Seeing Ben appear in front of her says otherwise.</p><p>He sits in front of her on a stool in her quarters and he looks as bewildered as she is now.  Rey sits up on the cot and struggles to find her voice.  </p><p>“I thought Snoke said he bridged our minds,” Ben says to her.  “I thought this would have come to an end.”</p><p>“This is something else,” Rey replies and he recognizes that she’s used his words from the first time they appeared to each other like this.  She takes this moment to study his features; his usually kept hair is disheveled, and he’s changed out of the clothes that she’s used to seeing him wear.  He wears a simple sweater and pants, all in black. Rey notices that he’s studying her, too. Neither of them tries to push into one another’s minds to take a closer look.</p><p>She reasons they are both afraid of what they may find if they do.</p><p>“Where are you?” Ben asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.   Rey shakes her head.</p><p>“You know I can’t answer that.  I won’t.”</p><p>“I’m not hunting you or the rest of the Resistance, at least right now.”  His reply is curt. “I am busy cleaning up your mess.”</p><p>“My mess?”  Rey is incredulous.  “What do you mean by <em>my</em> mess?”</p><p>“As the new Supreme Leader of the First Order, I have new responsibilities to assume since Snoke is gone.”</p><p>“Congratulations, Supreme Leader,” she says sarcastically.  “Was that also part of your vision?”</p><p>“Truthfully, no. It wasn’t. But as I have learned, just because I see something doesn’t exactly mean that it comes to fruition.”  Ben stands and begins to run his hands through his hair.  Rey perches on the edge of the cot, her eyes never leaving him but guarding herself as he begins to pace.</p><p>“Why didn’t you take my hand, Rey?” he turns toward her and she can see the New Supreme Leader of the First Order is frustrated. Especially with her.</p><p>“You could have killed me. Why didn’t you?”  She keeps her tone even.</p><p>“You know <em>exactly</em> why,” he hisses, his jaw clenched. “Rey, we can’t deny that the Force is connecting us for a reason.  I know what I saw when we touched hands.”</p><p>“And I know what I saw.  I didn’t see you and I ruling the galaxy together. That’s not what I want.”</p><p>He lets out a groan, his fingers once again running through his hair as he resumes his pacing.  She looks into their bond and feels his conflict is stronger than ever.  Anger, regret, confusion and longing are swirling together to create the perfect storm. </p><p>“I don’t understand.”  Ben’s tone is quiet and for a moment she doesn’t know if he’s talking to her or to himself. “I felt your desire…to be with me.  I thought when you told me that you couldn’t do…” he absently motions between them and then the words falter. </p><p>Rey moves to stand in front of him. She hesitates to touch him.  This bond with Ben Solo is like a live wire that threatens to take her down with a single spark.</p><p>But <em>stars</em>….she wants to know what that feels like.  To feel him completely and totally without his chains weighing him down as they do now.</p><p>“I do want to be with you,” she admits and his eyes lock with hers. “I want us to stand together, but I don’t wish to stand with the Supreme Leader of the First Order.  I want to stand with Ben Solo.”</p><p>Silence falls between them as Ben takes a step back from Rey, his face fallen and a frown tight on his lips. </p><p>“I don’t know how to be Ben Solo anymore,” he whispers.</p><p>“You have shown me what it’s like to be with Ben,” her voice breaks. “I know he’s there. And he deserves to be with me,” The hum of their bond begins to quieten and just as she reaches out for him, he fades from her like a ghost.   It’s an abrupt ending to this chapter of their story. Rey curses under her breath and decides to take Leia's idea to get some rest.</p><p>She returns to her cot once again, draping the blanket over herself. Through the bond, across the galaxy, Rey can feel how her words have affected Ben. She knows that fixing broken things takes patience.  She’s pretty good at both.</p><p>Somehow that’s enough to allow her to find enough stillness to close her eyes and dream of how to continue this story, their story, another day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading. Any mistakes are entirely my own as this is an un-betaed piece and I am very new to the Star Wars fandom.  I appreciate your time and thoughts!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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